This is just me rambling aimlessly... Could be interesting...
Published on May 25, 2004 By austin0665 In Blogging
Here it is ladies and gentlemen. Chapter the First of my yet unnamed novella. Marco, aka notsohighlyevolved... Tell your alter-ego to stfu about my literary pursuits!

By the way... As I don't have a title yet... Does someone want to help me out, and suggest one??? Maybe after you've read a few chapters, and know what's going on, eh? You will have my eternal gratitude...

Austin

Chapter the First

The yellowing newspaper stretched as far as the eye could see. It covered the floors in a carpet of faces, print and advertising, brushed the ceiling in places, and slumped, worn out, against walls.

He sat in the middle of it, staring at the ceiling. It was covered in photographs of the famous, the ordinary, all mixed into a collage of humanity. His apartment was a melting pot of lives, cultures and stories.

He had a favourite… It was pasted onto the ceiling of his bedroom, right above his head where he slept. The photo haunted him in his dreams, flitted across his vision every time he closed his eyes, even for a second, when he blinked.

He closed his eyes, and she was there. Radiant as always, laughing into the camera. Her blue eyes seemed to look right through him, into his soul. Photographers wanted their subjects all to look somber in those times. She didn’t care. She was always laughing, grinning, sharing her vivacity and joy with the world, lighting up countless people’s lives with just a smile. Especially his.

Gone were those days. Oh, how he missed her. The day she left was a black void in his memory. He never saw her again after then.

A single tear trickled down his lined face. Why did things have to be as they were? Weren’t these years supposed to be the golden years? His life had been empty since that day, fifty-four years previously.

He sighed, and closed his eyes, seeing her face once more. He drifted off into a listless sleep, where he was haunted by dreams of hearing her voice, just out of reach.



Chapter the Second coming as soon as I finish writing it... I'm half-way through... Shouldn't be long...

Comments
on May 25, 2004
Well no offence, but it seems like most of your sentence are clichic... but this is better than not writing anything at all. I would suggest trying to define the character more, then little suttlties. but nonetheless, Keep going you have a ways to go mate, and by the way, my first part of the first chapter is up, read it it might give you some ideas of what I am talking about. Best of luck.

Thomas
on May 25, 2004
Okay I said that with as much brutality as a wasp to an ant. I will say this keep writing I want to see the next chapter tomorrow bright and early. And again define your character more. other than that... I will say I like the third sentence, it had some feel to it, try to strive for that in all of them and this will be a really good story.

Thomas